V's Somewhat Sane Adventures with the Akatsuki
by Psycho Kay
Summary: Ever read Survival Guide to the Criminally Insane Akatsuki? Ever wonder what characters do between chapters? Now it's your time to figure out! Vivian avoided fate from being put into a story, now she'll be reporting what she see's as time goes on. My first Fic, OC, and some randomness. Based on chapters from Fallen Angels Still Have Wngs Naruto Stories.
1. Chapter 1

**Vivian's POV**

Finally, I'm getting back to the hideout. It's been how long? A week? Maybe two.

...

Damn. I'm losin my touch. This stuff should come easy for me. Oh well. I wonder what everyone's doing. I laughed knowing perfectly well knowing what awaited me. Hidan would be cursing, Deidara would be blowing up Tobi, Kisame would be... himself, and everyone else I don't really care.

"ugh" my captive woke up, "Where am I?"

"You're going to get stabbed if you don't shut up."

Remembering our earlier confrontation, he shut up.

Why did I promise Zetsu I'd bring him a live human? I'm such an idiot.

There's the hideout! I ran to the entrance, my captive hitting rocks, and twigs, all the usual stuff on the ground. I kicked open the door, threw my captive in the corner, knocking him unconscious and screamed "I'M BACK BITCHES."

I was not ready for what I saw.

Why was Deidara on the floor? Did someone torture him? Torturing him is my job. I will kill anyone who takes my job.

"Deidara!" I kicked him in the ribs. "what's going on?"

"You **hic** kicked MEEEE!"

Oh crap. He's drunk. If he's drunk... **gulp** then they're all drunk. I surveyed the room. I heard someone chanting rape him, Itachi was almost going to be raped by a girl... what?

_'it's on now bitch_,' I muttered to myself. _'no one rapes Itachi but me._'

Before I could do anything, Tobi, damn him, hit me with a girl who had short blonde hair and like most people, no matter who you are, iconically fell unconscious like Jack Sparrow in that first movie. I loved that movie.

What was I doing? Oh right, the story.

Back to the story.

I'm unconscious.

**A/N: Well, I don't own anything but Vivian (V-I-van). **

**Go read Fallen Angels Still Have Wings story: Survival Guide for the Criminally Insane Akatsuki and Criminally Insane Just got More Legal (I think it's that). They're both Naruto Fics and they are HILARIOUS. This story is pretty much what all those characters did in their free time and what Vivian happens to see.**

**Please review, I need all the help I can get OuO**

**P.s. I wrote this at around... 11 pm or so. Well, bye.**

**~Kay**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hannah's POV**

*Why is this freak using my Point Of View? **Sigh **Whatever*

Well, it's November 2rd. The Akatsuki have finally had their fill of laughing at my unfortunate marriage to Zetsu. Those assholes, I hate them all. At least Kate was being nice. Now, where did the pink girl go? Might as well ask.

"Kisame." He turns to me, "Who's the pink haired girl? Tobi wacked her with Kate."

"Tobi… wacked her with Kate?"

"Yeah. Why?" Was it just me, or did Kisame actually look scared?

"Um, well, she…" Kisame turned pale and waved his hand slowly to someone behind me.

"WHAT THE HELL?" She looks mad. Really mad actually. Her eyes are blending into her face. Hehe, her hair should be red too…

"Hey! You're back!" (Deidara)

"Did you bring our human?" (Zetsu)

"Hn." (guess)

"When did you get back?" This was Leader who came out of his office to see what all the commotion was about.

"Vivian's… back." Said Kisame who was, for a blue guy, as white as chalk at the moment.

"Last night and, sorry Zetsu, he ran away after _somebody_," glares at Tobi," Hit me with a person.

For unknown reasons, Hidan starts laughing like a mad man saying Jashin will be appeased. Apparently that means this pink haired, psycho chick was going to kill us. This might actually be bad.

"Hey, Zombie Whore! Who's the girly chick? Is she another fake whore?" I swear I saw her eye twitch.

Dear Warg, save us from this beast.

. .

**A/N: Well, I think from here on out, most of the story will be in Vivian's POV since I have more control over that character than any other. I'm leaving Saturday so I will not be able to update this story for a month after this. Maybe I'll have another chapter tomorrow. Depends on what my mind does.**

**Just to make this clear, I do want to write this story; I don't think I'm doing a very good job. I feel like I'm dragging this along when I'm typing and it makes me really sad. I know I'm bad at writing fanfiction since I prefer having complete control over characters. Sorry for rambles.**

**Please review for the sake of my sanity and leave suggestions of what kind of situations I could do with them. (This story will never have a plot. They could do anything.)**

**OuO**


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